Home
Honeymoon: on the job training, 3 different types
1. Lovers’ Nest: Completely absorbed in themselves – rapport
2. Perpetuum Mobile: take trip & go someplace everyday
3. Vacation: relax, take it easy before going back to work
• Expensive
• Good to have some time for yourself
• Period of time in new relationship: period of unusually good rapport
Stages:
Happy honeymoon: enjoying the union
Disillusionment & regret: Is this what I wanted?
Accommodation: realize relationship requires work
Developmental Tasks: certain things we do as we grow
Realign loyalties: spouse & children come first
Mutually agreed upon marital/domestic response
Mutually agreed upon romantic/emotional/sexual relationship
Establish identity as a couple
Models of Family: Gagnon & Green Blat
1. Unit of emotional satisfaction: degree of satisfaction that family provides
2. Unit of political economy: who has the power to allocate resources
Resource Theory of Family Power (Blood & Wolfe): person who brings resources has power
3. Ongoing system of negotiations: no set determined script for husband & wife; lots of flexibility (operate within social context)
4. Set of interactional system
Exchange Theory (Waller): interpersonal skills have power
Social Resources varies in different societies (Rodman)
Marital Conflict
Intimacy:
Demonstration of feelings
Sexuality
Swinging: couples engage in sexual activity with other couples
Consensual
Often man convinces wife
Women get more out of it
Men usually decided to stop
Basic value Difference
Role Expectations (Kirk Patrick)
1. Wife – and – mother role
2. Companion role
3. Partner role
Try to make the spouse over
We try to change partner
Who they are and what they do
Power struggles and competition
Used to be man
Now it’s more equal
Tremendous Trifles: little things become big problems
Allocation of Resources: time, money, energy, space
Children
External Factors: war, natural disasters, in – laws
Marital Conflicts in Relations to War
Guerilla Warfare (ambush)
Psychological Warfare
Stand-off Attacks (distant attacks)
Siege (try to wear other down/ withhold normal responses)
Blitzkrieg
Direct frontal assault
Myths
Conflicts only occur in poor families
Domestic violence stays with a family because they can take it
Marital Dissolution
Divorce (cannot remarry in church)
Death
Annulment
Marriage never happened legally
Usually from fraud
Takes 1 ½ to 3 years
Separation (Informal & Legal)
Abandonment
Divorce Rates
Crude divorce rate (not useful)
o Calculates number of divorces per 1000 population
o Population changes
Refined divorce rate
o Number divorces/1000 women aged 14 – 45
Decreased slightly last 5 – 6 years
Social Factors
Social integration: tight knit social network helps each other
Changing nature of cultural value: collective individualistic
Institution of Women who are Divorced: more likely to divorce if nothing holds them back
Demographic Factors
Employment status: employed are more likely to divorce
Income stability: if unstable, people divorce
Education level: higher, less likely to divorce
Ethnicity/race: African American & Spanish higher
Religion: more religious less likely
Life Cost Factors
Intergenerational: parents divorced, they divorce
Age at time of first marriage: teens higher
Pre-marital pregnancy: higher
Cohabit
Remarried: higher
Family Process Factors
Happy marriage: lower
Children: higher or lower, depends, unpredictable
Marital problems: role/value differences
Pressures of adult life
Restrictive nature of marital roles
Individual Level Factors
Liberal attitudes: higher
Parents’ disapproval: higher
Depressed: higher
Short spacing between pregnancies: higher
Consequences
Children: age & sex
Boys: negative reaction (younger)
Peer relations & school
Long lasting effect especially if the divorce is bitter
Difficulty establishing relationships with opposite sex
Adults: emotional lability (labile)
Wild mood swings
Initially have difficulty eating & sleeping
Ambivalent (Did I do the right thing?)
Neglect themselves
Change social relationships
Can’t have ongoing sexual relationship
Can’t handle status transformation
Financial problems
Mainly women until 1990s
Feminization of poverty
Myths
1. Half of all marriages end in divorce
2. Second marriages work better
3. Living together will not result in divorce
4. Children recover quickly
5. Having children prevent divorce
6. Women’s standard of living plummet while men’s rise
7. Children are better with conflicting parents rather than single homes
8. Children are successful in marriage
9. Children are better with step family
10. Being unhappy = divorce
11. Usually men who initiate divorce
Child Custody
Joint: both have rights (parents live near each other)
Sole
Split: child is split over a long period of time
Tender Years Doctrine (until 1960s): custody went to mother
Lee Salk: child psychologist, challenged law
Now custody goes towards best interest of child
Remarriage
¾ men, 2/3 women
People are fed up with particular marriage, not marriage in general
Within 3 years of divorce
Age: younger is higher
Gender: men more & quickly
Men in higher social class + women in working class marry more frequently
Without children
Employed
People in south are less likely, North east likely
New family
Step families have more problems
Adjusting to step parent
Problems with step siblings
Remarriage is incomplete institution
Myth
1. Things will have to work out
2. Tend to avoid mistakes from first marriage
3. Marriage makes people happier
Challenges
Functioning with ambiguous roles & norms
Adjusting to step children
Adjusting step siblings with each other
Handle finances
Custody
Favoritism
Who disciplines?
Marital Quality
Success – social
Happiness – psych
Satisfaction – psych
Adjustment – social psych
Solidarity – social psych
Success: performance outcome
- Societal expectations
Happiness & Satisfaction
- What they think about their marriage
- Can be unhappy at particular point in marriage, but be satisfied overall & vice versa
Adjustment
- Interact among members of family
- 8 Developmental Tasks to Marriages (Clayton)
1) Marriage Sociability: how the two of you deal with others (social aspect), engage other couples in social activities
2) Marital Companionship: adjust to/enjoy each other
3) Economic Affairs: talk about economic needs
4) Marital Power: decision-making processes, adjustment to who makes decisions where
5) Extra-family relationships: friends, coworkers, how to balance all the relationships whilst still being committed
6) Ideological Congruence: similarity/agreement on major issues in life
7) Marital Intimacy: ways in which we agree on satisfying emotional needs
Interpersonal Tactics: the way we deal with each other, how to resolve differences, working together
Solidarity
- Strength of emotional bonds of other family members
- Own view of happiness & satisfaction
Positive Rewards Traditional Barriers Facilitating Mechanisms
Happiness Success Adjustments
Satisfaction Sociological Social psychological
Psychological Tough divorce laws Pair expectation for success
Social participation as a couple Social pressures Self-fulfilling prophecy
Interlocking of habits Undesirability of singlehood Rapport building devices
Ongoing sexual relationship Religious beliefs Interdependence
Conjugal love Presence of children Empathy & understanding
Lack of alternatives Substitutive mechanisms
Marriage Views (that never caught on)
- Open Marriage: partners can pursue their interests
- Marriage in 2 Steps:
1. Individual Marriage: 2 people, older than middle teens, live together
2. Family marriage: economically, emotionally, physically fit to have children
- 5 Year Renewable Marriage Contract: at the end of 5 years, can renew or leave marriage
- Death of the Family: allow polygyny for men over the age of 60
1. Lovers’ Nest: Completely absorbed in themselves – rapport
2. Perpetuum Mobile: take trip & go someplace everyday
3. Vacation: relax, take it easy before going back to work
• Expensive
• Good to have some time for yourself
• Period of time in new relationship: period of unusually good rapport
Stages:
Happy honeymoon: enjoying the union
Disillusionment & regret: Is this what I wanted?
Accommodation: realize relationship requires work
Developmental Tasks: certain things we do as we grow
Realign loyalties: spouse & children come first
Mutually agreed upon marital/domestic response
Mutually agreed upon romantic/emotional/sexual relationship
Establish identity as a couple
Models of Family: Gagnon & Green Blat
1. Unit of emotional satisfaction: degree of satisfaction that family provides
2. Unit of political economy: who has the power to allocate resources
Resource Theory of Family Power (Blood & Wolfe): person who brings resources has power
3. Ongoing system of negotiations: no set determined script for husband & wife; lots of flexibility (operate within social context)
4. Set of interactional system
Exchange Theory (Waller): interpersonal skills have power
Social Resources varies in different societies (Rodman)
Marital Conflict
Intimacy:
Demonstration of feelings
Sexuality
Swinging: couples engage in sexual activity with other couples
Consensual
Often man convinces wife
Women get more out of it
Men usually decided to stop
Basic value Difference
Role Expectations (Kirk Patrick)
1. Wife – and – mother role
2. Companion role
3. Partner role
Try to make the spouse over
We try to change partner
Who they are and what they do
Power struggles and competition
Used to be man
Now it’s more equal
Tremendous Trifles: little things become big problems
Allocation of Resources: time, money, energy, space
Children
External Factors: war, natural disasters, in – laws
Marital Conflicts in Relations to War
Guerilla Warfare (ambush)
Psychological Warfare
Stand-off Attacks (distant attacks)
Siege (try to wear other down/ withhold normal responses)
Blitzkrieg
Direct frontal assault
Myths
Conflicts only occur in poor families
Domestic violence stays with a family because they can take it
Marital Dissolution
Divorce (cannot remarry in church)
Death
Annulment
Marriage never happened legally
Usually from fraud
Takes 1 ½ to 3 years
Separation (Informal & Legal)
Abandonment
Divorce Rates
Crude divorce rate (not useful)
o Calculates number of divorces per 1000 population
o Population changes
Refined divorce rate
o Number divorces/1000 women aged 14 – 45
Decreased slightly last 5 – 6 years
Social Factors
Social integration: tight knit social network helps each other
Changing nature of cultural value: collective individualistic
Institution of Women who are Divorced: more likely to divorce if nothing holds them back
Demographic Factors
Employment status: employed are more likely to divorce
Income stability: if unstable, people divorce
Education level: higher, less likely to divorce
Ethnicity/race: African American & Spanish higher
Religion: more religious less likely
Life Cost Factors
Intergenerational: parents divorced, they divorce
Age at time of first marriage: teens higher
Pre-marital pregnancy: higher
Cohabit
Remarried: higher
Family Process Factors
Happy marriage: lower
Children: higher or lower, depends, unpredictable
Marital problems: role/value differences
Pressures of adult life
Restrictive nature of marital roles
Individual Level Factors
Liberal attitudes: higher
Parents’ disapproval: higher
Depressed: higher
Short spacing between pregnancies: higher
Consequences
Children: age & sex
Boys: negative reaction (younger)
Peer relations & school
Long lasting effect especially if the divorce is bitter
Difficulty establishing relationships with opposite sex
Adults: emotional lability (labile)
Wild mood swings
Initially have difficulty eating & sleeping
Ambivalent (Did I do the right thing?)
Neglect themselves
Change social relationships
Can’t have ongoing sexual relationship
Can’t handle status transformation
Financial problems
Mainly women until 1990s
Feminization of poverty
Myths
1. Half of all marriages end in divorce
2. Second marriages work better
3. Living together will not result in divorce
4. Children recover quickly
5. Having children prevent divorce
6. Women’s standard of living plummet while men’s rise
7. Children are better with conflicting parents rather than single homes
8. Children are successful in marriage
9. Children are better with step family
10. Being unhappy = divorce
11. Usually men who initiate divorce
Child Custody
Joint: both have rights (parents live near each other)
Sole
Split: child is split over a long period of time
Tender Years Doctrine (until 1960s): custody went to mother
Lee Salk: child psychologist, challenged law
Now custody goes towards best interest of child
Remarriage
¾ men, 2/3 women
People are fed up with particular marriage, not marriage in general
Within 3 years of divorce
Age: younger is higher
Gender: men more & quickly
Men in higher social class + women in working class marry more frequently
Without children
Employed
People in south are less likely, North east likely
New family
Step families have more problems
Adjusting to step parent
Problems with step siblings
Remarriage is incomplete institution
Myth
1. Things will have to work out
2. Tend to avoid mistakes from first marriage
3. Marriage makes people happier
Challenges
Functioning with ambiguous roles & norms
Adjusting to step children
Adjusting step siblings with each other
Handle finances
Custody
Favoritism
Who disciplines?
Marital Quality
Success – social
Happiness – psych
Satisfaction – psych
Adjustment – social psych
Solidarity – social psych
Success: performance outcome
- Societal expectations
Happiness & Satisfaction
- What they think about their marriage
- Can be unhappy at particular point in marriage, but be satisfied overall & vice versa
Adjustment
- Interact among members of family
- 8 Developmental Tasks to Marriages (Clayton)
1) Marriage Sociability: how the two of you deal with others (social aspect), engage other couples in social activities
2) Marital Companionship: adjust to/enjoy each other
3) Economic Affairs: talk about economic needs
4) Marital Power: decision-making processes, adjustment to who makes decisions where
5) Extra-family relationships: friends, coworkers, how to balance all the relationships whilst still being committed
6) Ideological Congruence: similarity/agreement on major issues in life
7) Marital Intimacy: ways in which we agree on satisfying emotional needs
Interpersonal Tactics: the way we deal with each other, how to resolve differences, working togetherSolidarity
- Strength of emotional bonds of other family members
- Own view of happiness & satisfaction
Positive Rewards Traditional Barriers Facilitating Mechanisms
Happiness Success Adjustments
Satisfaction Sociological Social psychological
Psychological Tough divorce laws Pair expectation for success
Social participation as a couple Social pressures Self-fulfilling prophecy
Interlocking of habits Undesirability of singlehood Rapport building devices
Ongoing sexual relationship Religious beliefs Interdependence
Conjugal love Presence of children Empathy & understanding
Lack of alternatives Substitutive mechanisms
Marriage Views (that never caught on)
- Open Marriage: partners can pursue their interests
- Marriage in 2 Steps:
1. Individual Marriage: 2 people, older than middle teens, live together
2. Family marriage: economically, emotionally, physically fit to have children
- 5 Year Renewable Marriage Contract: at the end of 5 years, can renew or leave marriage
- Death of the Family: allow polygyny for men over the age of 60
